Stumbling upon a locker full of journals in B building that date back to the class of ‘98. The Word, has encountered the memoirs of a former student named Miranda. We publish an entry about devotion to you, unedited, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day.
by Zyanya Fuentes (Staff Writer) – 02/12/18
Everything I do for John is completely and utterly normal for girlfriends to do. I mean, who wouldn’t get a tattoo of his name on their forehead with big, black, bold letters? And a cute red heart right next to it after engaging in eye contact for the first time? When I first walked into the tattoo parlor, I thought to myself, “Miranda, where could you place this tattoo to really be able to announce to the world who your one true love is?” I thought that tattooing it over my heart, but that would be way too hidden. It had to be the forehead. I even changed the letter size four different times. I still have some left over ink above my eyebrow from that. I was thinking a small size at first, something subtle to not scare John away, but then it came to me. “GO BIG OR GO HOME!” So I went as big as my forehead could fit, mind you, it’s about five fingers and half of a pinky. I was excited to walk out to the world and let everyone, and John, know that John was my man!
John was the guy of my dreams. I would do anything for him. I even kept a small, totally not overdone shrine of him. Every two weeks, after school on Wednesday, John gets a haircut: the number one, a modern pomp, mid fade, hard part. It was absolutely the cutest thing. But not as cute as the million and two strands of tiny hairs that would fall to the ground. Yes, I counted, but isn’t that what all serious lovers do? I would go after he left, you know, to not invade his personal space and all. I would tip his barber, Louie, to give me all of his hair. I would use that hair as my center piece. You see I am making a little doll out of all his hair. It’s going to be his height, 5’11. I had way more to go, so when he wasn’t looking in class, I would put a small plastic bag near his chair in case any extra pieces of hair fell. Oh, that lucious amazing hair of his.
My shrine didn’t only consist of his hair. I also saved every single tissue he ever threw away in the school trash. Isn’t that what all normal lovers do? Once, he had something in his eye, and I thought he was winking at Bethany, a girl in our chemistry class. I was about ready to rip her head off! But I realized it was only one of his 150 eyelash hairs that had gotten into his eye. I mean, if you’re not ready to rip a girl’s head off at first sight because your boyfriend looked at her, then are you really a normal lover?
Anyways, back to my shrine. I had pictures of every single second, of every single minute, of every single hour we spent together. It was only the first and second period at school that we sorta spent together, but man was it worth it. I learned so much about him just through listening to him speak. I may have used his hair to get a DNA test done to see his family ancestry. But after all, this is what normal lovers do all the time. I guess I could have used Facebook more, but his mom’s, sister’s, and grandpa’s page didn’t really detail anything more than when John was crying at his grandma’s funeral. That truly broke my heart. I looked into the whole Frankenstein experiment and was about to steal his grandma’s corpse to try and reanimate it, but it turns out she was cremated. I guess John would just have to live without granny.
I don’t really have any friends because they don’t understand the true meaning of being a good girlfriend. I always try to emphasize that a shrine is very much needed in order for a relationship to be successful. If they only followed my advice, maybe, just maybe, they would be as happy as John and I are, even though John still doesn’t know my name. But that’s another concept that my dumb friends do not understand. Your significant other does NOT need to know your name in order to love you!