By Evelina Zubrinskaya

Saying that climate change is real is like calling the Earth round. It is something that many do not believe in and I for one know is a total hoax. I refuse to go vegan or ride a bike for something that is so clearly fake and fabricated by all 97% of climate scientists that “agree” it is real. The government may have fooled the majority about the so-called moon landing, but they will not be successful in convincing us to stop stripping the Earth of its resources. We are the best and most important species after all; we have every right to kill all other animals since we have the biggest capacity for emotion and sympathy and that makes us superior to every other living thing. 

One argument that climate scientists always present is that the Earth is warming up. Well first of all, California is always a steaming hot environment. Climate change has nothing to do with the intense heat we all have to deal with in the Valley. 

Second of all, why is snow still a thing? If it snows, it obviously means that the Earth is not warming up. They might claim that the Earth as a whole is significantly warmer, but if it still snows then climate change cannot possibly be real. After all, the only aspect of climate is temperature. The extreme fires and stronger hurricanes have nothing to do with climate change because hurricanes do not have anything to do with heat; they bring cold and rain. 

I am qualified enough from my personal experience and common sense to understand these obvious facts about weather; what can someone with professional education in meteorology know about the climate that I don’t? If they wanted to cause mass panic they could at least come up with something more believable to the public who obviously understands all the aspects and patterns of the climate.

Claims that the ozone layer has a hole are filled with logic holes and violate basic rules of my perceived world. Has anyone actually photographed this big gaping hole in the sky? Have people in Antartica been sucked out into the void of space? Obviously not or else news about climate change would be making international guidelines. Not once have I seen an article about the ozone layer when I was looking at the latest story about Ariana Grande. 

Air pollution is a so-called problem, especially in big cities. People think that planting trees can just filter out these greenhouse gases, but trees are honestly such a distraction. If you just plant trees everywhere you would not have space to walk or live. They are just big green messes. A better solution would be to just carry around a gas mask. If you’re going to be overdramatic about suffocating above water when there is a bunch of air around you then might as well haul around an oxygen tank. 

Deforestation is a perfectly legitimate practice. Clearing land for animals to graze so that we can then eat them is normal. Forests take up so much space that we can use for our populations and for farming. It seems counterproductive to let plants occupy so much space and only house animals that we do not eat regularly. After all, the only purpose the diverse species of our planet have are to help us survive by being patties on our burgers. We do not need any of the other animals. 

Going vegan is not something anyone should feel obligated to do, except people who have an intense fascination with eating grass. Now those people can do whatever floats their boat. Us regular omnivores love eating meat because despite pigs’ capacity for intelligence they just are not as cute as dogs. The amount of deforestation and wasted water that takes place to raise the animals that will end up on our plates simply does not matter. Think about it, the same amount of resources would go to growing crops, wouldn’t it. See, scientists are not considering basic rebuttals to their argument and this is why no one should believe them. 

Plastic waste is a hoax too. The only time fishing nets are in the water are during the actual process of fishing. The scientists are probably doing their studies while the fishermen still have their nets in the water because it doesn’t make sense for all of those nets to end up in the water as trash.  Anyways, the main purpose of fishing nets is to kill helpless and brainless animals of the sea, even those that are not fish but get caught in the nets, so it does not really matter if they are left in the oceans. The general public does not care when dolphins or sea turtles die painful deaths; they are in the ocean and we are here. Why should their lives have any meaning to us? There are plenty of fish in the sea. 

 None of us plan on giving up sushi or disposable one use plastics for the good of some random salty animals who do not even have the decency to breathe air. Speaking of disposable plastics, they are just so much more convenient. Not all of us have an extra minute to wash a spoon; climate change advocates should think about the amount of time washing a single spoon might take before they try to force us to give up the far more convenient plastic spoons.  It is on the turtles if they think a plastic bag is a jellyfish and choke on it; we do not have any control over the ignorance of a wild animal. Also, scientists can stop with all of that “Great Pacific Garbage Patch” garbage. That is just as real as the Bermuda Triangle. People who go to beach cleanups are wasting their time; no one cleans someone else’s house just to clean. It takes too much energy to walk a few feet to a trash can so it is easier to just throw things into the ocean because it is meaningless to our lives and cannot have any impact on humans. 

Coral bleaching is just as fake as the rest of these so-called facts. Since global warming is not a thing, the oceans cannot possibly be getting warmer and killing the vibrant ecosystems in coral reefs. Anyways, look at the name itself: coral bleaching. There has never been a bleach spill in the ocean, and that is the only substance that would even have the power to turn a rainbow of coral in the sea a ghostly white color. The whole claim is just a scam. 

Speaking of oceans, there are claims being made that the ice caps in the North are melting because of Earth’s “warming climate”. Well, it is only fair that the ice caps give us fresh water too, they have no reason storing all of that fresh water for themselves when they are not even living things. People may fear that coastline cities and islands are going to be covered in water if this pattern continues, but those people can simply move. I have always wanted an indoor pool anyways. 

Scientists may just say that we are in denial and are afraid of the truth. However, the general public has common sense. We can understand the climate just as much as people with professional careers in those fields do. So, we should just ignore their pleas for change because it’s not like it would be better to make our Earth more sustainable even if climate change is fake. Let us all trash the Earth and let the future generations deal with all of it when the Earth has no more room for our literal and societal garbage.